strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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