Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
