I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
