You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
