Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
