But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
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She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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