I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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