That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
