So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
