Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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