He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
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i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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