Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
