We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
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We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
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I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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