i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
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Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
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She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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