he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Found your dick twin last night
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
