How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
