Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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