Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
