My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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