they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
