hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
