You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i now understand why vodka
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
