i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize