meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
