This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
