whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
