I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
