They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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