Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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