Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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