I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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