Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
