oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
