Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
