My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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