The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
