so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Sorry my hands just texted you
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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