i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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