Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize