things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
