one two three fourrrrnication!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
