awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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