ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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