bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
