As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
