Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
