Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
