I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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