is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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