If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
