So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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