He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
