Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
