Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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