I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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