I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Quick, to the slutcave!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
